Story Idea

Bear with me while I outline the beginning of a romantic adventure...

Two strong-willed people have been together for somewhere between 9 and 10 years. Let's call them Evie and Rick. They have a son who, as the story unfolds, is extremely bright and very talented at getting into trouble. The family travels to Egypt and are searching in a pyramid for an ancient artifact--the Bracelet of Anubis, which has the power to bring the Scorpion King to life. The heroine and hero (Mom and Dad) go off into the tunnels, searching for the artifact, and leave their son alone. While Mom and Dad are off searching, son amuses himself by building a mouse trap.

Then, he hears men's voices. He climbs up onto a high scaffolding, lying down just as three unsavory characters walk into the main room. While one man goes off looking for his mom and dad, the other two stay behind and start sorting through the pottery and artifacts already discovered. Now, he amuses himself with his slingshot by shooting hard clumps of clay at one of the unsuspecting thugs, hitting him first in the ear and then in the rump. His third shot is caught by the second man, who comes after him.

Meantime, the third bad guy is watching as Mom and Dad find the Bracelet of Anubis. Of course, the room is boobytrapped and, by removing the Bracelet from its box, Mom triggers the boobytrap.

Okay, so, I stole this from The Mummy Returns, which I watched last night for the fifth time. (Why watch it again, you ask? Well, it's got Oded Fehr in it. And... it's got Oded Fehr in it.) But this was the first time I actually sat there and thought, Why in hell would these two intelligent people leave their son ALONE in an old tomb, especially when they know what kind of trouble he can get into?!?

Yes, I know. That's the way the script was written. My point is, if I wrote this as a romantic adventure that I wanted to sell to, say, Kensington or Dorchester or Berkley, I think the first thing I'd hear is that the opening is not believable. Well, it's not believable if the heroine and hero are sympathetic, likeable characters. Which I want them to be. In an earlier blog I talked about having your characters act like real people--don't send the heroine down to the basement where the monster is without a compelling reason for her to do that.

So why is it that a screenwriter can get away with it, and romance writers can't?


(P.S. I wrote over 6,500 words yesterday. That makes about 15,600 for the week. If I weren't having so much fun with the novella, I'd probably be done with the NaNo project. But I get tired of NaNo and want to move on to something else.)