Friday, April 14, 2006

The Shy Writer

I'll be heading up to Scottsdale in a week for a regional RWA conference. I'll get to meet my buds Jenna and Kate for the first time, and scores of other authors whom I know online. (Hi, Chey! Hi, Paige!) I'm very excited about that.

What I'm not so excited about--and I should be--is my one-on-one with the St. Martins editor. Have I started preparing my pitch yet? you ask. Ha! Silly willy. Whatever were you thinking?

The other thing I am excited about is ... I'm not doing a booksigning. If I were, I can only imagine the thoughts going through my mind. What if nobody comes to my spot? What if they do only to tell me my book was okay. Just okay. What if...

You see? Right now, no booksigning=good thing. Especially since I only have four things out. Next year... well, we'll have to see about that.

And interestingly enough--and quite timely--I received the latest edition of The Writer. There's an article in there titled "Handle the Spotlight." It includes tips on going from a private writer to a public speaker. The two I focused on (because I'm nowhere near ready to be on radio or TV) were: booksignings and conventions.

* Be approachable. Don't just sit at the table waiting for people to talk to you--reach out and touch someone by handing out a book. (Of course, with this little pointer, you probably should be prepared for them to hand it right back to you.)

(Can I tell you this? When I attended the first meeting of my newly formed local RWA chapter, I didn't know anyone. Not a soul. I was about 15 minutes early, but already people had settled into tables with people they knew. So I swallowed--hard--walked up to one table and started introducing myself. They looked at me like I was nuts. With a capital N. What do you think I did then? You got it. I pulled back into myself and slunk off to a table where no one else was sitting, plopped myself down, and figured I'd talk to people if (when, please GOD!) they decided to sit at the same table. Nothing's more crushing than being at a table by yourself. It's like always being the last one chosen for the team. Hmm. Been there, done that, too.)

* Don't be shy. (Hmm. Okay, it says that, but it doesn't tell you how not to be shy.) Everyone who comes into the bookstore (or walks by your table), hand them a bookmark that has a picture and brief description of your book.

* Focus on others, not yourself. Decide to make friends with people who inhibit you. (If you're like me, and many writers are, you'll have LOTS of new friends. Cuz, well, lots of people inhibit you. A lot of times I wish I didn't care what others think of me as much as I do. I think I'd have more fun.)

Anyone have any other tips on how to get over being shy? That doesn't involve massive amounts of alcohol? I want to get over being inhibited, not look like a sloshed idiot.

And tell me what you think of this quote: Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. ~Andre Dubus

So, does this mean I'm really a narcissist deep down? I'm not sure I like that...

12 comments:

Trista Bane said...

I think Emma's right. I'm one of those you could describe as "painfully shy". We're just not used to putting ourselves out there yet, I guess.

Sherrill Quinn said...

Emma, you're probably right--writing is such a solitary craft, an extrovert would probably go insane. LOL

I got active in my local chapter right away, mostly because I don't know how to say "no" and my right hand keeps popping up when they ask for volunteers. I haven't been able to train it yet to stay down. Down. *G* I'm co-editor of our newsletter and the PRO liaison, so I'm out there in front of everyone every meeting. But to do that 10 years ago, even 5... no way.

Sherrill Quinn said...

Trista, my first job in college was as a cashier at a Baker's Shoe Store at the mall in Chattanooga, TN. For the first three months, I hugged the wall behind the register, didn't speak unless spoken to, even by co-workers. *That's* painfully shy. Thankfully I'm not that shy anymore. Being in the positions I've held in Corporate America, I pretty much had to let go of that. But that took 20 years. Now I'm in a whole new field, I'm the newbie... oy. I'm starting all over again.

Sherrill Quinn said...

Cheyenne, thanks for the encouragement about Monique. I keep telling myself she's just a woman, just like me... but she's not. She's an Editor (with a capital E) from New York City. Oooh. Ahhh.

And I am now sitting on that frickin' right hand, cuz it tried to raise to signal acceptance of selling raffle tickets. Down, damned hand. Down.

Anonymous said...

Hey...I got a really crappy book on how to overcome shyness. I'll bring it along. I was going to for any wobbly tables.

You'll do fine.

Sherrill Quinn said...

I remember you talking about that book, Jenna. I've a feeling it won't be used for much other than stablizing a wobbly table...

* wallflower * said...

You can do it, Sherrill. Wish I could be there, wearing a "I'm her #1 fan" T-shirt to help fill up that table. :)

For The Trees said...

"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. ~Andre Dubus"

That's one viewpoint. And he may be right, in his view. But then there are those of us who walk into a room and feel STARED AT and just KNOW we're being laughed at. We're the shy ones.

So, I cheat. I put myself out there, and find that the reception is always better than I would have thought. Selling raffle tickets is a natural for me. I think about all those depending on the money, I think about the people begging me to see the tickets, I think about the dreams and hopes of the people buying the tickets, and I DON'T think about me. So I get REAL extroverted and will say almost anything polite to people to get them to stop and look at the ticket in my hand and usually they'll buy one or five and I grab more and turn around to do it all again and I freeze. So I stand there like I got my head up my ass until someone nice says, "What ya got there?" and I'm over it again...

It's a moment by moment thing, Sherrill. And I know you can do it. Just think of them as being new employees who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, and you're the honcho from HR who's here to lead them astray. Simple substitution: your shyness to your being in control.

Sherrill Quinn said...

Aw, Su. You're so sweet. Even though every time I hear the phrase "#1 fan" I think of Misery, I appreciate the sentiment. I really, truly do. :)

Sherrill Quinn said...

Thank you, Forrest. I'm sure once the rat-sized butterflies in my stomach calm down, I'll be okay. Actually, I'm sure I'll be okay in about a week and a half, once the frickin conference is over! LOL

* wallflower * said...

Ah, yes, #1 fan was a tad presumptuous of me, but I'd do it for you if Misery couldn't be there and I could. *G* BTW, "Misery" is my middle name, Sherrill. At least for now it is. ;) Any-who, you rock, woman!

Sherrill Quinn said...

Su, there's nothing presumptuous about it. I love having you as my #1 fan.