A Little Old Lady...

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in awhile a $20 bill flies out of the bag onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her.

"Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Dang!" says the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can still find them. Thanks for the warning."

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," the little old lady says. "You see, my back yard is next to the parking lot of the football stadium. Every time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds. So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little winkie through the bushes, I say, $20 or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" The cop laughs. "Okay, good luck. By the way, what's in the other bag?"


"Well," says the little old lady, "some of them don't believe me."




"When you're a penis, you're bald your entire life and you have a hole in your head. You live between two nuts and an asshole lives behind you. Finally, when you get excited, you throw up and then you faint." ~Unknown