People Are Interesting, Aren't They?

In my non-writing life, I work in Human Resources, which affords me many opportunities to come into contact with some rather...interesting people. This last week, I received a voice mail from an applicant who expressed interest in working for our company. He proceeded to tell me what the position entailed (which, of course, I know, since I do the hiring for the position), then explained how supportive his parole officer has been and that his parole officer really wants him to get a job. He ended the message with "Well, okay, talk to you later." Without leaving me a phone number.

The next day, there's an application from him waiting in my inbox. He didn't write his address, but he left two phone numbers. Well, he left the last four digits of two phone numbers. All of his work experience was either being self-employed or working for his stepdad, so there's no way I could verify work experience, right?

The very next day, there's another application from him waiting in my inbox. On this one he listed his house number but no street address, but he did give me a complete phone number. Under "Other Training" he listed his parole officer's name and number with a "He really wants to talk to someone from [your company]." But on the back, where we ask applicants to list references (where he had written "none" on the first application), he listed the name of the reference as "FBI" and gave the phone number of his parole officer.

WTF? You know, I understand if the guy's just filling out applications so he can tell his PO that he's trying to find a job. But there's no reason he needed to fill out two in two days. Of course, he might be missing a few brain cells. (I forgot to mention that on the first application he checked "No" where we ask if the applicant has been convicted or pleaded guilty to anything other than a traffic violation. He did check "Yes" on the second app.)

Oh, and the voice mail for the HR department? Clearly states: "If you are an applicant, please understand that due to the volume of applications and resumes we receive, we cannot return your phone call unless we have already contacted you for an interview." In other words, don't leave a message because I won't be returning the call. It might not be the best in customer service, but I just don't have time to return people's phone calls who are interested in a position that (a) isn't open or (b) I don't know what their skill level/experience is. If you're looking for work, send in a resume or come in and fill out an application. But don't leave me a message and expect a return call.

Okay. Done with my rant. So, talk to me. What kind of experience have you had with your HR department? Has it been positive? Or negative?



"Conversation: a vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener."