...sort of. I received an email from the Managing Editor of Amber Quill and, in part, she said, "...the story's excellent...it's just a fabulous package all the way around! You keep getting better and better!"
Claiming Hannah, available next weekend!
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." ~Mae West
I have no earth shattering news and no particular bits of wisdom (or otherwise erudite sayings) to share with you today so, instead, I thought we could just sit together and drool a bit...
Dayum! Gotta love those cowboys...
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." ~Mae
From Joyfully Reviewed:
"The first chapter sets the tone for Dragonfire – damn hot, which is fitting considering Zander and the other dragons of this order breath fire... Lani and Zander make a hot couple and Dragonfire is an enjoyable read."
You can read the full review here.
Dragonfire - available at Amber Heat.
"Sex is emotion in motion." ~Mae West
This is long, but worth it. I'll warn you right now, put your cups and glasses down...
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/609353/does_size_matter/
ROFLMAO!!!
"I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked." ~Mae West
In my non-writing life, I work in Human Resources, which affords me many opportunities to come into contact with some rather...interesting people. This last week, I received a voice mail from an applicant who expressed interest in working for our company. He proceeded to tell me what the position entailed (which, of course, I know, since I do the hiring for the position), then explained how supportive his parole officer has been and that his parole officer really wants him to get a job. He ended the message with "Well, okay, talk to you later." Without leaving me a phone number.
The next day, there's an application from him waiting in my inbox. He didn't write his address, but he left two phone numbers. Well, he left the last four digits of two phone numbers. All of his work experience was either being self-employed or working for his stepdad, so there's no way I could verify work experience, right?
The very next day, there's another application from him waiting in my inbox. On this one he listed his house number but no street address, but he did give me a complete phone number. Under "Other Training" he listed his parole officer's name and number with a "He really wants to talk to someone from [your company]." But on the back, where we ask applicants to list references (where he had written "none" on the first application), he listed the name of the reference as "FBI" and gave the phone number of his parole officer.
WTF? You know, I understand if the guy's just filling out applications so he can tell his PO that he's trying to find a job. But there's no reason he needed to fill out two in two days. Of course, he might be missing a few brain cells. (I forgot to mention that on the first application he checked "No" where we ask if the applicant has been convicted or pleaded guilty to anything other than a traffic violation. He did check "Yes" on the second app.)
Oh, and the voice mail for the HR department? Clearly states: "If you are an applicant, please understand that due to the volume of applications and resumes we receive, we cannot return your phone call unless we have already contacted you for an interview." In other words, don't leave a message because I won't be returning the call. It might not be the best in customer service, but I just don't have time to return people's phone calls who are interested in a position that (a) isn't open or (b) I don't know what their skill level/experience is. If you're looking for work, send in a resume or come in and fill out an application. But don't leave me a message and expect a return call.
Okay. Done with my rant. So, talk to me. What kind of experience have you had with your HR department? Has it been positive? Or negative?
"Conversation: a vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener."
Edge of Night - available at Liquid Silver Books:
Woohoo! My first "official" Recommended Read! Check this out:
Man, I think you could bounce a quarter off those abs...
"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." ~Lucille Ball
Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color . Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
LOL! Have a terrific weekend!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." ~Lucille Ball
Ooh-la-la! Trace always does a superb job on my covers, doesn't he? Look for Claiming Hannah next month at Amber Heat.
To read an excerpt, click here.
"A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright." ~Lucille Ball
According to a recent article in Forbes, the romance genre is single-handedly saving the electronic book industry from extinction. Seems ebooks have been around for about a decade, and account for less than 1% of the $24 billion book market. (Keep in mind, though, that romance novels, with all their many sub-genres, account for over 50% of mass market book sales.) Romance readers love the instant gratification and, for those who love steamier books but are a little shy about asking their local bookseller to order the books for them, they have a certain amount of anonymity by ordering a book electronically and then downloading it via a link to the publisher.
One of my publishers, New Concepts, was one of the first to see the potential in this medium. They're right now the oldest e-pub out there. The explosion, though, came when Tina Engler (Jaid Black) started Ellora's Cave (another of my publishers). Hotsa motsa was here, and it was here to stay. In 2006, EC had $6.7 million in revenue, up 11% from 2005. And this is a company that's only been around about 7 years.
To give you a clearer picture, Harlequin, arguably the biggest publisher of romances, only digitized 10% of their books a year and a half ago. Now they upload nearly all their books as soon as they're released in print.
(BTW, EC's model is to wait a few months before releasing their books in print because their bread and butter is still by and far their e-sales.)
The biggest complaint I had about this Forbes article? It's titled "E-Bodice-Ripper."
Come on, folks. Can we please get past this? If the book market had $24 billion in sales last year, and over 50% of that was romance novels, that's over TWELVE BILLION DOLLARS.
Give us some respect. I think we've earned it!
If you want to read the entire Forbes article, go here.
And I'll have more about Ellora's Cave tomorrow.
"I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste." ~Lucille Ball
I'm asked this question quite frequently: Where do you get your ideas?
The answer? Everywhere.
Sunday night, for example, I was watching The History Channel (which I do quite a bit--The History Channel, The Discovery Channel, etc.) and the show "Underground Cities" was on. (A fascinating show--if you've never watched it, you should!) This particular episode talked about New York City, and showed briefly a train car that was abandoned on underground tracks no longer in use. The train car didn't belong to the city and the number was marked with an "X" at the end, which apparently means it was government-owned.
The metal of the car was heavily plated, and even the small glass windows in the door were fortified. The car was from the 40s--they think it was for FDR. Now, before they even got to that part, my mind was churning. What if (that's how stories always start, right? "What if...?") this car was fortified not to keep people out, but to keep something in? And what would that something be? Well, I thought of vampires. Or maybe...just one vampire. An incredibly strong, incredibly dangerous vampire.
And then, what if...he'd been left there on those abandoned tracks? What if he'd been forgotten just like the tracks had been?
And what if some unsuspecting person (maybe a homeless person looking for a new place to stay) found him and set him free?
Then what would happen?
See how it works? Just a lot of questions leading to even more questions until the idea is solid and workable.
"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." ~Lucille Ball
My estimable editor, Brianna St. James, has accepted Sassy Devils, LLC for publication. Yippee!! This is a story I've had a lot of fun with, and it also has a bit of emotional angst attached to it as well. The idea came to me while I was on the plane traveling back to Ohio for Dad's funeral back in December.
The only caveat she has is that I lengthen it--I had submitted it for a Halloween Quickie, but she feels it would be better suited (and I agree) as a novella. So I'm about 2,000 words away from sending it back in. I hope to have it finished and back out to her today.
What's Sassy Devils, LLC about? I'm so glad you asked! LOL Sassy Devils, LLC is the "employer" of all good and evil creatures in, under and above the world. It's made up of three main divisions: the Faery Division (headed up by Tatiana, the queen of the faeries), the Demon Division (headed up by Lucifer), and the Angel Division (headed up by the archangel Gabriel). The Chairman of the Board is the Big Guy Himself, Yahweh (God). This first book tells the story of Lucifer's son Urian, a sex demon, and Hailey Kovac, the woman whose dreams he's haunted for ten years.
Stay tuned for more. Once I have edits completed, I'll post an excerpt.
"Ability is of little account without opportunity." ~Lucille Ball
Still one of my all-time favorite pics. Grrrrrrrrowwwwwf!
"Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic." ~Rosalind Russell
An old lady was on the witness stand, and the questioning went something like this:
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new." ~Ursula LeGuin
...but this, well, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want this job.
On the Discovery Channel Saturday night, I saw a program called "Man-Made Mammals". I came into it about 5 minutes after it started, just in time to hear them talking about elephant penises. Apparently, a male elephant's penis must be at least five feet long if he's gonna get lucky and father any babies.
*double take* Five frickin' feet long?!? I'm 5'4". I'm still trying to wrap my brain around a penis that's as long as I am tall. I don't even want to think about how thick it is.
But wait. It gets better. The veterinarians/zoo biologists were going to artificially inseminate a female elephant. So, of course, they need semen, right?
How'd you like the job of masturbating a male elephant? Cuz that's what this one guy did. And it was a workout for him. I mean, how could it not be, stroking five feet of elephant meat?
Then it's store the semen, get on a plane (and, yeah, airport security was "What's in there?" and the guy actually kept a straight face when he said, "Elephant semen." The security guard's face didn't stay straight. LOL), get to the other zoo, then insert an over five foot long catheter into the elephant. (Picture it: if it's five feet long, it's not gonna be the size of a catheter that gets put into a human.) Needless to say, all of the women who were watching winced.
Then the program went on to show them taking semen from a white rhino. It involved putting a rather large vibrator type thing into his rectum to, er, excite the animal (who was sedated--really, would you want to be anywhere close to his private parts if he's awake?). The sentiment is a noble one--saving animals from extinction.
But, as far as jobs go, aren't you glad you have the one you do? I know I am!
"A career is born in public, talent in privacy." ~Marilyn Monroe
From Susan at Love Romances and More:
"...Madison is a great heroine and she gamely falls in line with the new culture she is exposed to. This was a great adventure and this reader would like to learn more of the world Ms. Quinn has imagined."
Never fear, gentle reader. Very soon I hope to get together with my CP and brainstorm a sequel.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans." ~Marilyn Monroe
Well, Wednesday was a scary day. Somehow--and I don't know how--I managed to lock myself out of my readers group. From Wednesday evening until yesterday morning, I wasn't listed as group owner, but I was the only moderator. Except...I had no moderator privileges.
Don't ask me how it happened. I have no idea. None.
I sent Yahoo Support a hysterical plea for help. They actually responded to me yesterday morning with an email saying they couldn't duplicate the problem and, therefore, couldn't help me. Thanks. A lot.
But, however it happened, it worked itself back out. I'm now the owner of my group again. And, to be on the safe side, I set someone else up as moderator, so she'll at least be able to approve memberships, etc.
