Friday Funny

Too Old to Trick Or Treat?


You know you're too old to trick or treat when:

• You get winded from knocking on the door.
• You have to have someone else chew the candy for you.
• You ask for high fiber candy only.
• When someone drops a candy bar in your bag you lose your balance and fall over.
• People say "Great Boris Karloff mask!" and you're not wearing one.
• When the door opens you yell "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
• By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
• You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
• You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go trick or treating:

• You have to keep going home to pee.

Sherlock Holmes

I've been reading books and watching movies/shows about Sherlock Holmes since I was a teenager. Take my word for it, it's been a long time. (When you can start counting time in decades, you know you're getting old...) My all-time favorite is the pairing of Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce, though Bruce did play Watson as much more of a bumbler than Conan Doyle wrote him.

The latest version is from the BBC and stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes and Martin Freeman as John Watson, and it is brilliant! It has been updated for modern audiences, set in present day with Holmes using texting to communicate with journalists (and the killer!) and Watson blogging instead of writing in a journal.

Holmes's intellect and obvious glee over crime scenes has put off the police--Lestrade only calls him in when he's desperate, and not really because he wants to. Watson is home from the war in Afghanistan (eerily a mirror of the original Watson, who also saw action in Afghanistan). The pairing is, well, brilliant!

I can't wait for the next episode!

Man Meat Monday

I really like the perks this sauna has...

Friday Funny

You can't help but laugh!

Saturday's RWA Meeting

This Saturday, my local RWA chapter is hosting two incredible women who happen to be incredible speakers as well. In the morning, Maya Reynolds is coming up from the grand state of Texas to speak to us about the good, the bad and the ugly in the publishing world. I'm hoping she'll be able to clear up some confusion that some members have regarding self publishing and vanity publishing, as well as talk about the pros and cons of epublishing and print publishing. Our afternoon speaker is Connie Flynn, a veteran author and educator from Phoenix who's going to speak on Beginnings, Middles and Ends.

If you're in Arizona, I promise it's a day you don't want to miss! You can read more about it at Saguaro Romance Writers website.

Man Meat Monday

Seeing as how I didn't sleep at all last night, I have a bedtime theme this morning...

*yawn*

Friday Funny

Baptizing a Drunk

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

"Yes I am," replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't."

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"