First Kiss

So, it's your first kiss, and several questions run through your mind...

Is it the right time?

Is anyone watching?

Does your partner even want to?

Is your breath fresh?

And...should you use some tongue?

Then, you just lean in and go for it...

Thanks to my sister C for sending this to me in an email. I laughed out loud at the same time I was going Ewwwwwww!

But, remember that post about the pigs...? Randy little buggers, aren't they?


"He who hesitates is last." ~Mae West

How Come...

... we can't have commercials like these?!?

That's never happened to me on a plane, either. Course, I'm assuming he's gonna come out of the lavatory in just his underwear...





"He's the kind of man a woman would have to get married to get rid of." ~Mae West

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Well, you could, but it wouldn't be as funny as the real thing. Check this out:



Although I am confused. The man in this picture is way older than 18. So maybe this is just a joke on us all.

What do you think?





"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted." ~Mae West

Nice...Luggage

Here's another one from YouTube:

How come nothing like that ever happens when I'm at the airport?




"To attract men, I wear a fragrance called New Car Interior." ~Rita Rudner

The Effects Of Drugs

Take a look at this documentary a researcher did on wood spiders and the effects that certain drugs had on their web-making abilities:

Did I getcha? LOLLOL




"A word to the wise ain't necessary--it's the stupid ones that need the advice." ~Bill Cosby

It's Flavored Like What?!?

This is a real product from Jamaica:




Who knew it tasted like chicken? *VBG*





"Good sex is like Bridge--If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." ~Mae West

Man Vs. Woman: The Shower

Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:


Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg- lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and tjaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower and squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire your wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on her pillow.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. LOL Have a great day!

Oh, and ... woo woo!!!





"It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men." ~Mae West