Man Meat Monday

Rawr!

Friday Funny

If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1. I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog.
2. There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents.
3. Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass. Nowhere was safe!
4. There were no MP3s or Napsters or iTunes. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5. Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up. There were no CD players. We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, baby! Dig?
   
6. We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it.
7. There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
8. And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know. You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9. We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square. You actually had to use your imagination. And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died. Just like LIFE!
10. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. You were screwed when it came to channel surfing. You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel. NO REMOTES.
11. There was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
12. And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove. Imagine that!
13. And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
14. And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See? That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

Rules to Live By

This past Saturday at our RWA chapter meeting I filled in for a speaker who couldn't make it to the meeting. Since it was our first meeting of the year, I decided to try to be a little inspirational, to remind people that this career we've chosen is hard work, but it's worth it. One of the things I shared was Bob Parsons' 16 rules he tries to live by. (For those of you who don't know, Bob Parsons is the founder of GoDaddy.) I thought I'd share some of them here:

• Get and stay out of your comfort zone. I believe that not much happens of any significance when we're in our comfort zone. I hear people say, "But I'm concerned about security." My response to that is simple: "Security is for cadavers."
• Never give up. Almost nothing works the first time it's attempted. Just because what you're doing does not seem to be working, doesn't mean it won't work. It just means that it might not work the way you're doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.
• When you're ready to quit, you're closer than you think. There's an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: "The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."
• Focus on what you want to have happen. Remember that old saying, "As you think, so shall you be."
• Always be moving forward. Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.
• Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you're doing. When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.
• Never expect life to be fair. Life isn't fair. You make your own breaks. You'll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).
• Don't take yourself too seriously. Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

You can read all of Bob's 16 Rules here.

Man Meat Monday

Friday Funny

Amazing simple home remedies that actually work!

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily thought:

Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

Now Available: Dragons Unleashed

The print anthology of my three dragon shifter novellas is now available!


You can get your copy at Amazon right now, and within the next day or two direct from the publisher, Amber Quill. Also available for pre-order at Barnes and Noble. (Yeah, don't ask me how Amazon managed to get it up and available before my publisher did. It usually takes Amazon a helluva lot longer.)

Man Meat Monday

Friday Funny

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

That's nice, she thinks, but I want more.

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims. "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop -dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

New Review for Angel and the Duke of Sex

From Tnicnat's Blog: "Sherrill Quinn writes a wonderful erotic romance full of dark passions with a dangerous backdrop of Jack the Ripper. The passion and sex that develops between Angel and Harry is hot, there is a menage involved and that is a hot scene. This is easy a one day read, but it will whet the appetite to read more by Sherrill Quinn."

Click here to read an excerpt or buy.

Man Meat Monday

Friday Funny

Wrong Email Address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!

New Release - Sassy Devils In Print!

My two Sassy Devils novellas -- Demon of Her Dreams and Fallen Angel -- are now available in a print anthology.

Sassy Devils, LLC is a conglomerate of good and evil headed up by the Big Guy Himself, controlling all aspects of otherworldly interaction with humankind.

Demon of Her Dreams - Urian is a son of the devil, literally, an incubus working for the Demon Division. His assignment brings him back into the life of human Hailey, a woman he's fallen in love with through the sex dreams they've shared over the years.

Hailey isn't sure how to deal with this recent twist in her reality. The man of her dreams is really a demon and she discovers other supernatural beings are taking advantage of the magic of Halloween. And her relationship with Urian makes her a mighty tasty target.

Their passion burning hotter than the flames of hell, it takes both of them to bring things to an explosive climax.

Fallen Angel - Talon, an Angel of Retribution, is sent to find a repentant leader of the Brotherhood of the Red Claw--an angel who was both friend and mentor--and either return him or pronounce judgment and kill him. Along the way he must fight off gargoyles and protect the human female they've targeted.

Raegan Stark, a no-nonsense homicide detective, is stunned to find out that angels are real. As well as arrogant, bad-tempered and sexy as hell. She has to learn to hold her own against this very hot angel while staying one step ahead of their enemies.

Talon finds something he never thought he would--love. And Raegan finds out how bad an angel can be, and just how good bad is!

Read an excerpt or buy here. Also available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Man Meat Monday

Welcome to 2011!