Man Meat Monday

Yum!

Friday Funny

More paraprosdokian phrases:

“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.” — Will Rogers

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” — Groucho Marx

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.” — Groucho Marx

“A modest man, who has much to be modest about.” — Winston Churchill (of Clement Atlee)

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill

“The car stopped on a dime, which unfortunately was in a pedestrian’s pocket.”

“I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.” — Mitch Hedberg

“Take my wife—please.” — Henny Youngman

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” Winston Churchill

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

(And I hope that last one is true!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Man Meat Monday

Friday Funny

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. --Anonymous


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. --Josh Billings


Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. --Franklin P. Jones


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. --Mark Twain


If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. --Phil Pastoret

Agent Susan Ginsburg

Let me lead off this blog by saying my agent Susan Ginsburg rocks! LOL And not just because she's so good at her job, but also because she's doing me a huge favor by coming to town to speak to the Tucson chapter of Romance Writers of America. Susan is graciously going to share her expertise about the publishing industry in the morning session, then do some critiquing of query letters submitted by several of our members--it's a great learning experience for everyone, even those of us just listening. After the meeting, close to twenty of our members will be pitching their books to her.

Susan and I have been working together since December 2007--and this is the first time we'll meet face-to-face. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to it!

If you're in Arizona and can come to Tucson this Saturday, please join us for our meeting at El Parador Restaurant. The meeting starts at 10 a.m.--you can make your reservation online by going to Saguaro Romance Writers website.

Man Meat Monday

Friday Funny

What is a calorie?

Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter.

My closet is infested with the little shits!

There Be Dragons Here!

Coming in January, my three dragon shapeshifter novellas with Amber Heat will be available in a print anthology. I just got the cover last night, and it. Is. Gorgeous!


Right now all three novellas are available in electronic format, purchased separately, at Amber Heat.

Man Meat Monday

For your viewing pleasure...


Love those cowboys!

Friday Funny

Truths for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Was learning cursive really necessary?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
16. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
17. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
18. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
19. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
20. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
21. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....quit laughing.

It's Official--Warriors of the Rift is Coming!

I've just signed the contract with Grand Central for my upcoming Warriors of the Rift series, written under the pen name Cynthia Garner.

Every seventy-three years a comet passes by the Earth and opens a rift between dimensions. Incorporeal entities from the other dimension--criminals, political dissidents and other "undesirables" who have been stripped of their bodies and held in an incorporeal state--are sent through the rift into our dimension. The will to survive being strong, they come to Earth and take over the bodies of humans. Whatever species they were in the other dimension determines the impact their "squatting" will have on their human hosts--some become vampires, some werewolves or other shapeshifters, some demons, etc.

Nix de la Fuente, part demon/part human, loves her job as liaison to the Council of Thirteen, which governs the behavior of preternaturals. Until, that is, she comes face-to-face with her former lover, vampire Tobias Caine. Nix and Tobias are forced to work together to solve a vampire murder mystery and in the process discover a secret about the rift. But can they overcome the hurts of the past?

Look for Book 1, Kiss of the Vampire, some time next year!

Man Meat Monday