Thursday, December 20, 2007

"Danger: Avoid Death" Contest Winners

Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (M-LAW) hosts an annual "Wacky Warning Label Contest". This year, the winning label was:

The label says: "Avoid Death. Before removing seat belt and leaving seat:
  • Lower lift arms to ground or rest lift arms on stops
  • Stop engine
  • Lock park brake and remove key"
You know, my mom has 3 acres, just about all of it grass, which I had to mow from the time I was about 13 until I left for college. And then once I got back from college. Not one time did I even think about getting off the riding mower without a) stopping and putting the mower in park and b) turning off the mower blades. I mean, isn't it just common sense?!? But read on...

On an iron-on T-shirt transfer: "Do not iron while wearing shirt." (Or you might get a little hot under the collar...)

On a baby stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns: "Do not put child in bag." (Aw, why not?)

An honorable mention went out for a label on a fabric marker: "The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents." (Unless, of course, you meant to use invisible ink...)

"Predatory lawyers know they can file ridiculous lawsuits against innocent product makers and blackmail them into cash settlements--even in cases in which a user has ignored common sense," said Dorigo Jones, president of M-LAW. "The real issue is not the obvious warning labels, but the billions of dollars in litigation costs passed on to consumers--a kind of a "lawsuit tax" we all pay. That is why M-LAW urges judges and policy makers to support civil justice reform."

Yeah. Remember the lady that opened a lid on a cup of hot McDonald's coffee between her thighs in the car and received burns? Hello? H-o-t coffee. What else did you expect?

Call me a cynic, but I'm a firm believer that people are stupid. Or, at least, we do stupid things. We don't engage our brains before we leap into action. That's why hemorrhoid creams have "for external use only" written on them, sleeping pills warn "may cause drowsiness" and labels on strollers warn "Remove child before folding."

Have we become a nation of idiots? Do we really need to be told not to use a flushable toilet wand for personal hygiene? Or not to use a hair dryer while asleep? (To read past winners from the annual contest, go here.)

What are some of your favorite labels?


Maria Zannini said...

Avoid Death...

I think I'll make that my motto today. LOL!

Great stuff, Sherrill!

Tori Lennox said...

Call me a cynic, but I'm a firm believer that people are stupid.

I've felt this way for a long time. *g*

And you want to be sure and NOT try to use your curling iron while sleeping, too!

Sherrill Quinn said...

LOL Maria. Yeah, I think avoiding death is a good thing... :)

Sherrill Quinn said...

Ouch, Tori. And might I add, if you lose your grip on it and it starts to fall, don't try to grab it. Let it hit the floor.

Unless it's still stuck in your hair and might land on your face. I'd rather have a burn on my hand than on my face. :)