Man Meat Monday

I have the day off work today and, while I should be working on my next book, this is what I want to be doing:


Although if this was in my bed, sleeping would probably be the last thing goin' on...

Friday Funny

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming up," says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I'd like to buy you one, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."

~ * ~

"OLD" IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today.

"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

"OLD" IS WHEN...

You are not sure these are jokes!


LOL! Happy Friday!!

New Cover - ANGEL AND THE DUKE OF SEX

Here's my cover for my Victorian suspense novella:


I love the shadowy Jack the Ripper in the background! *shiver*

Tipsy Tuesday

Above all else, a writer is a storyteller. Once you have a firm handle on grammar/punctuation basics, it's up to you to write the story. One that will keep readers spellbound. It's a complicated mixture of plot, interesting main characters, setting, pacing and dialogue, as well as subplots and secondary characters.

And flowing beneath all of that is the writer's determination and instinct. You have a specific story to write, and you have to believe in it, in yourself, in your ability to write it. Then you have to rewrite it until all of the ingredients I mentioned above come together in the perfect mix.

Man Meat Monday

Slicker than a greased pig ...


And lots prettier, too!

Wow.

Friday Funny

I greatly fear I'm fast approaching the age where this kind of thing may become a problem...


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

~ * ~

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?"

"Yep!"

"Do I know her?"

"Nope!"

"This woman, is she good looking?"

"Not really."

"Is she a good cook?"

"Naw, she can't cook too well!"

"Does she have lots of money?"

"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."

"Then why in the world do you want to marry here then?"

"Because she can still drive!"

~ * ~

Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

~ * ~

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

~ * ~

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm and a wide smile on his face. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"




LOLLOL!

Have a great Friday!

Free For All

I really have nothing blindingly witty to say today. I have an early day at work, so I'm just gonna leave y'all this:


I love the lighting on this pic.

Yeah, that's it. The lighting...