It's A Sad But Happy Day

My brother G's father-in-law R died last week. It was something we've been expecting for months now--two years ago R was an avid bicyclist (even at 73 he would ride 20-30 miles a day) and was in a car/bicycle collision (someone made a right turn in front of him and he smashed into the car doing probably close to 35 miles per hour). He had head trauma, broken ribs, pelvis, collarbone, etc. Pretty severe injuries. He recovered. A year ago he had to have triple bypass surgery. He recovered. Mostly. He started having trouble breathing--was out of breath most of the time plus some other symptoms. Doctors finally diagnosed him with ALS. End stages, since your breathing is usually one of the last things you start having problems with. With R, it was the first. Over the last six months, his health has progressively declined--could only eat baby food because he had so much trouble swallowing, he didn't have strength to stand to assist people to move him from his bed to his wheelchair. He wasn't a big man to begin with--5'7, maybe 150 pounds at his healthiest--but when I saw him yesterday at calling hours... I'd be surprised if he weighed 90 pounds. His last day, he went through what they (my brother and his wife) think was mini-strokes. He didn't seem to suffer any pain, and with the last one he was gone.

Of course this is hitting me harder than normal because my dad's only been gone a little over 2 1/2 months. I still miss him horribly. R's funeral is today, and I'm going. I just hope I can hold it together to make it through the service. This is their time to mourn R, not my time to make a spectacle of myself by mourning my dad. Oh, they'd understand, I know. But I don't want to do it.

And we know that R is no longer suffering, which is a good thing. We've actually been praying all along that God would take him in his sleep (like He did my dad). It didn't quite happen like that for R, but his pain is ended. He left behind a loving family--2 kids, 4 grandkids--and will remain in my memory as one of the kindest, most generous people I have ever been fortunate enough to know.

We'll miss you, R. I know you're riding a golden bicycle with tires that never go flat.




"The fear of death follows from a fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." ~Mark Twain