Ah, the elusive query letter. That one-page introduction of you and your book to your editor or agent of choice. What elements will knock the socks off the recipient and make them salivate to be the one to read your baby?
Check out Nathan Bransford's post Anatomy of a Really Bad Query Letter. Good stuff here.
Just a reminder that you still have until the 31st to enter the Deliciously Naughty Writers' holiday contest for a chance to win lots of neat prizes. Our website has the details.
Today's tip: If you can get a guy like this to be your Christmas tree, take him up on it!
WHO IS JACK SCHITT ?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
LOLLOL!!
(Remember: laughing lowers the blood pressure. My Friday Funnies are, therefore, a public health service...) :)
