Man Meat Monday

Having just joined the ranks of the unemployed, I thought a little working man was in order:

Friday Funny

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status...

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, "Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

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Blogging at Brava

I'm over at the Brava Authors Blog today, talking about paranormal heroes. Come on over and chat!

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Several weeks ago, author Jennifer Connor in Seattle asked me to write an article for her Examiner.com page. It's up now--go check out One Woman's Zombie Is Another Woman's Hero.

Tipsy Tuesday

Some words of wisdom:


A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. --Mark Twain

No, it's not a very good story - its author was too busy listening to other voices to listen as closely as he should have to the one coming from inside. --Stephen King

Every writer has to figure out what works best - and often has to select and discard different tools before they find the one that fits. --Nora Roberts

You will, I am sure, agree with me that... if page 534 only finds us in the second chapter, the length of the first one must have been really intolerable. --Arthur Conan Doyle

Writing is sweat and drudgery most of the time. And you have to love it in order to endure the solitude and the discipline. --Peter Benchley

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. --Stephen King

Man Meat Monday

Yowza!!

Friday Funny

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good grief, look how smart I am!


Celebrate your wisdom! LOL

April Fool's Day

When I was a kid, and even as a teenager, my mom just about always played an April Fool's prank on me. Usually just after I'd gotten up and was still a little sleep-fuzzy. Harmless little "how'd you rip your pajamas" or something along those lines. Something she knew would make me look.

Now that I live 2,000 miles away from her, small things like that pop into my memory on days like today. My mom's sense of humor is a little more understated than my dad's was, but in her own way she's just as ornery. LOL

What about you? What kinds of April Fool's memories do you have?