Friday Funny

That Jerry Seinfeld is one funny guy. Check this out from his 1998 HBO stand-up comedy special I'm Telling You for the Last Time:

But men and women will never understand each other, we all know that. It's just not gonna happen, just forget it. I know I will not understand women. I know I will never be able to understand how a woman can take boiling hot wax, pour it on her upper thighs, rip the hair out by the root... and still be afraid of a spider. I'm not spending any more time working on that.

(He's right, you know. Although I'm not one of those women who keeps waxing--I tried it a few times with different products, but nothing is worth that kind of pain, so it's the old razor for me until I can afford laser hair removal...which may be never.)

He goes on:

I bet women would like to know what men are really thinking, the truth, the honest truth of what men are really thinking. Cause I could tell you. Would you like to know? Alright I'll tell you. Nothing. We're not thinking anything. We're just walking around, looking around. This is the only natural inclination of men. To just kinda check stuff out. We work because they force us to but other than that this is the really only thing we wanna do. We like women, we want women... but that's pretty much as far as we've thought. That's why we're honking car horns, yelling from construction sites... these are the best ideas we've had so far.


LOLLOL!

(Oh, and have you seen the new commercial Jerry and Bill Gates are in? Funny stuff!)

Almost Friday

I sometimes think that Thursday is my favorite day of the week, because of the anticipation of the next day being Friday and the last day of the work week. *sigh* I don't know what it is about this week, but I can't wait for it to be over. At least today I'm only working 4 hours today, so that's not too bad.

I'm fine tuning the plots of my 3 urban fantasy books and hope to get the final proposal to my agent by the end of next week. I had sent her the synopsis of book 1 with short premises for books 2 and 3, plus the first 3 chapters of book 1 to see if she thought it would fly. She had questions and comments, of course, and so I'm working on making my world as clear as possible, the over-arcing plot solid over the 3 books, and trying to cut out some of the exposition in the early chapters. A first book set in a world vastly different from the real world always requires a certain amount of exposition, but too much can slow down the pace, and if that happens in early chapters you risk having readers not finish the first book, let alone buy any books set in the same world.

So that's what I'll be working on this afternoon when I get home from work, and tomorrow afternoon, and this weekend...

No rest for the wicked, eh?

Tipsy Tuesday

Well, it's another Tuesday, and another day for a tip.

I read a few agent blogs, most regularly Nathan Bransford, and in the last day or so he's posted about something I've observed in writers (including myself from time to time) that just drives me crazy.

Impatience.

In part, Nathan wrote: But perhaps the most dangerous period where impatience can affect your judgment comes when you are offered representation and are trying to decide on a course of action.

By the time an author is offered representation, chances are they've been working at it for years and have been dreaming about it for longer. Every cell in their body will be shouting, "Take it! Take it!!!"

Oy. Is that the truth! You've labored over a book (or books) for years, finally have honed your craft to the point that you're not just getting routine rejection letters, and when that one lone agent says, "I'm interested in representing you," you shriek to high heavens, dance a frantic Snoopy dance and rush to the phone to call all your friends. (What? That's what I did...)

But...you have to make sure that agent is a good fit for you. (Thankfully mine's a great fit!) Which means, hopefully, that you didn't send out queries to agents you really didn't want to work with.

The important thing to remember is to do your homework and take your time. Know what you want and who can best provide that to you.

Man Meat Monday

Okay, that shirt can come all the way off any time now... So can the jeans.

New Release - DRAGONHEAT

DRAGONHEAT, the sequel to my top-seller DRAGONFIRE, is available now at Amber Heat!

Nikolai Zelenka and Rainer Batsakis are sent by the leader of their dragon clan to find out what happened to a geneticist working for them. They meet the scientist's sister, Deirdre "DeeDee" Adair and immediately recognize her as their mate.

DeeDee doesn't need dragon DNA to know she's wildly attracted to both men. But first she has to understand--and accept--them for what they are. And they must protect her against the dragon hunters who are after her...

~ * ~
Nikolai's stance became ultra-alert, his nostrils flaring and eyes narrowing. His gaze slid past her to the large curtained picture window on her right. "Get away from the door," he ordered in a low voice.

"Now, listen here," she began, only to be cut off when he charged toward her. Eyes wide, fear closing her throat, she still managed a squeak of alarm and depressed the button on the pepper spray. The stream soared over his shoulder to land harmlessly on the carpet. God, he was fast! He grabbed her and moved behind the sofa. He pushed her to the floor and slanted his big body over hers, his large hands cradling her head.

At the same time Rainer turned off the lamp. She heard him moving, his heavy boots squeaking as he crawled past her on his way to the picture window.

Heat from Nikolai's body seeped into her, tempting her to stroke her hands along his lean sides. Ay-ay-ay. Get a grip, girl. Now's not the time to be lusting after him, though that's an interesting development. She wiggled a bit and the bulge pressing against her abdomen hardened even further.

Just as the thought that he might be planning to rape her killed the burgeoning lust she was beginning to feel, loud pops filled the air. Staccato in rhythm, it took a few seconds for her to realize it was weapons' fire. "Someone's shooting at us!"

"No shit, Sherlock," came the muttered reply from the man crouched beside the window.

Ass, she thought with some heat. "I've never been shot at before, you putz."

"I have." His voice was still as low as before.

"Can you see them, Rainer?" Nikolai lifted his head. He rose up onto his elbows and stared toward the man by the window.

"No. Dammit."

DeeDee twisted her neck to get a better look at what was going on. She could barely make out Rainer as he crouched by the window, peering out through the curtain.

"I told you it was too dangerous to entrust information like this with humans." Rainer's deep voice had a decided bite to it.

She blinked. What did he mean, give it to humans? As opposed to...what? Monkeys?

More gunfire erupted and Nikolai dropped back down onto her. She heard the breaking of glass, the shattering of ceramic, and shards of the table lamp rained down over her. Well, mostly over Nikolai, since he was still smashing her into the floor. His warm breath wafted against her cheek, sending tiny shivers up and down her spine.

Contrary to the strangeness of the situation, the man on top of her felt...familiar.

Like...home.

"Fuck this." Rainer's voice was harsh. "I'll be right back."

"Be careful." Nikolai tipped his head up. Though he looked at his friend, DeeDee was enormously aware of just how very close that luscious mouth of his was to hers.

Rainer headed toward the kitchen in a crouching run. Then Nikolai looked down at her. In the darkness of the room she couldn't make out very many details, even as close as his face was, but she could see the light amber of his eyes.

Wait. Amber? Hadn't his eyes been...brown? Or maybe hazel?

"Stay down." He pushed away from her, pausing with his knees bent and his palms planted on the floor on either side of her shoulders. "I mean it, Ms. Adair. Stay put until we get back."

From outside came the sounds of men's shouts and a roar like a fierce wind, but different somehow, a sound that she couldn't quite figure out. Seeing that Nikolai was waiting for her response, she gave a nod. If people were outside firing guns toward the house, she wasn't a fool. She was much less likely to be hit by a bullet if she was flat on the floor.

He leaned down and for the briefest of moments his lips touched the corner of her mouth. Then he was gone.

Copyright 2008 Sherrill Quinn. All Rights Reserved.


DRAGONHEAT - available now at Amber Heat!


What reviewers have said about Dragonfire:
"5 Hearts!...This is a powerful story with excellent dialogue and characterizations..."--Dee, The Romance Studio
"5 Lips!...Sherrill Quinn has written a perfect shapeshifter novel...A story you simply must read...Sherrill Quinn does not disappoint!"--Tara Renee, TwoLips Reviews
"5 Angels!...I loved this book. From the first page till the last it captured my attention...I hope Sherrill Quinn continues to write Dragon books and I would definitely buy them if she did. I look forward to reading more stories by her."--Ashley, Fallen Angel Reviews

Free Speech...Everywhere

A recent article in Publisher's Weekly deals with free speech issues outside of the US:

Nineteen organizations involved with free speech issues have signed a statement sent to the Senate Judiciary Committee asking them to support the Freedom of Speech Protection Act of 2008 (S. 2977). The bill would prohibit foreign libel judgments from being enforced in the U.S. if the speech would be protected by U.S. laws. The bill was introduced after a series of libel judgments were handed down against American authors in foreign courts where speech does not does not have the level of protection it does in the U.S. Earlier this year, New York State passed a law, The Libel Terrorism Protection Act, that prohibits the enforcement of a foreign libel judgment unless a New York court determines that it satisfies the free speech and free press protections guaranteed by the First Amendment and the New York State Constitution.

Chris Finan, president of American Booksellers Foundation for Free Expression, one of the 19 groups to sign the statement, said the so-called practice of “libel tourism” “is a serious threat to American writers and publishers who face the nightmare of defending themselves before unfriendly courts where their books were never published.” Finan said the statement was sent to the Judiciary Committee with the hope that they will act on the bill before the current session ends. Finan noted that the New York bill moved quickly so it is possible Congress could pass the legislation in the current session.


The world keeps getting smaller every day, and our laws need to keep up. What do you think?

Friday Funny

Here's a set of five Bud Light commercials--the last one is my favorite!

Happy Friday!