tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17076584.post6122812464514348781..comments2023-06-01T05:44:24.223-07:00Comments on Reflections: Tipsy TuesdaySherrill Quinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01165537099727789986noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17076584.post-36015952695041041562009-08-12T06:11:37.608-07:002009-08-12T06:11:37.608-07:00Well, I read the entire first chapter and there we...Well, I read the entire first chapter and there were several instances that made me just go "aaargh!" The writing is clever, but an omniscient point of view seems to creep in and just yanks me right out of the story. :(Sherrill Quinnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01165537099727789986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17076584.post-80332769016930290782009-08-11T09:48:19.068-07:002009-08-11T09:48:19.068-07:00As a reader, I never would have picked up on that....As a reader, I never would have picked up on that. <i>Long fingers</i> is a very "elegant" descriptor that implies much more, and I would have just automatically used it to form an image of her (tall, slender, etc), rather than thinking it was out of place. <br /><br />As a writer though, I think you're absolutely correct...and I like how you flipped it to first person to "test" the POV. It seems obvious now that you've pointed it out, but I hadn't thought of it that way before. I'll definitely use that to test my own writing from now on.<br /><br />I haven't seen much of the show "Castle", but the few episodes I've caught have been pretty good. Love that actor...Jamie D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05486427517423813962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17076584.post-77092254492344587182009-08-11T09:14:15.937-07:002009-08-11T09:14:15.937-07:00I have to agree completely!
You have to be stand...I have to agree completely! <br /><br />You have to be standing in that person's shoes when you are in their POV. <br />I don't think it would be a usual thing for a person to describe themselves in that sense. I always think you have to BE the person you are channeling the story from. That description detatches the story from the person, if that makes sense, and goes into 'telling' rather than 'showing'. At least that is my opinion. :)<br /><br />But what a great opening paragaph! It gets your attention right away!Colleen Lovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06629309647446094242noreply@blogger.com